I've been told I am naïve. And, yes, even gullible. Like that's a bad thing. Haha.
For example, I have a hard time understanding how people can be so mean. I think: "Wow. You must have had a terrible childhood." Or : "Wow. You don't really like yourself." Generous assumptions to make. But not for someone who is naïve.
It seems I start a lot of my posts with "When I was little..." Someday I'll have to make a list of transitional phrases to interchange, but for now... When I was little I believed in inherent goodness. I believed that everyone was good and maybe Satan himself was good but just hadn't been convinced of his goodness. Yes, I actually believed that with my whole little 6-year-old heart. Can you imagine? How naive I was.
Even when people hurt me, I still believed that somehow they were good. Perhaps I had done something to deserve being hurt. Yes, that was it. It was my fault! Then I would punish myself appropriately. Oh, the vile words that mean people sneered were nothing compared to the things I told myself. I would do my penance. Then I would start the cycle all over again. Again, I was so naive.
It isn't any accident that my stories revolve around people problems. Relationships. Meanness. As a writer, as a human being, as a celestial soul I am trying to figure it out. I refuse to accept that people are anything but inherently good. I give my characters a LOT of room for failure. I expect my characters to overcome. To be better. I am awed at how they do it. How do they do it?
Would it be wrong then to think my naivete is in some way a gift? Because of it, not only do I expect I will be a better human being, but that you will be also.
So, go ahead. Be mean. Say I'm naïve.
I'll be writing.
